Daily Plog

November 30, 2009

Rose…

Filed under: Arizona, Nature, Outdooors, People, Phoenix, Rebel XT/350D, Sedona, Travel — Tags: , — Jacob Crosby @ 12:32 pm

Don’t disturb the beast, the temperamental goat, the snail,
While he’s feeding on the rose,
Stay frozen compromise,
What I will, I am…

Bend around the wind,
Silently blown about again,
I’m treading so soft and lightly,
Compromising my will, I am…

I am, I will, so no longer
Will I lay down, play dead,
Play your doe,
In the headlights,
Locked down and terrified,
Your deer in the headlights,
Shot down and horrified,

When push comes to pull,
Comes to shove,
Comes to step around,
This self-destructive dance,
That never would’ve mattered,
Until I rose, I roared aloud here,
I will, I am…

I am,
I will,
So no longer,
Will I,
Lay down,
Play dead,
Play this,
Knee down,
Gunshy,
Martyr,
Pitiful,
I rose,
I roared,
I will,
I am….

Within the words above I find a certain level of comfort. It seems that in this song the notion that we are able to endure precludes itself. I found that my level of endurance, tolerance, and patience, with regards to the lies, untruths, and injustices of another is finite and is not everlasting as I previously thought it was. It seems that, just as in the words above, there came a point in which “Compromising my will” was just no longer possible and as such, “I rose, I roared aloud here!… So no longer, will I lay down, play dead, play this.” I did whatever I deemed necessary to stop the “Self-destructive dance” that was indeed occurring. I was not able to focus on anything short of what the end outcome would be. My approach wrong, perhaps… Is the outcome what was most necessary, yes, without doubt, and in the same, there is an amount of remorse that penetrates me. Though not enough to cause regret, just enough to, on occasion, cause my spine to tingle, my heart to race, my thought process reduced to what might have been. Though after the abundance of effort and time on my part put forth, it seems that, inherently, people are incapable of change.

We are all faced with challenges, some as simple as getting out of bed, some unimaginable. In the end, we make our decisions based on the rules we have set for our lives, the guidelines to which we tailor our existence. Sometimes, our emotions interfere with a logic that is evident and ultimately undeniable. Perhaps if we could take the emotional variable out of the equation, the decisions we must make would be a great deal easier, but nobody ever said the easy choice was always the right choice, and as I have found, it rarely is.

I have made my bed, and I am fully prepared to sleep in it, and a certain level of confidence burns through me, that I will rest well, and may you also, with all of your regrets and remorse for what you have done to those around you, and what you will continue to do. Only you know the extent to which your behaviors reach, and the irreparable damage you have caused. May you sleep well indeed Chandra.

Since this post was built around a “quote” in the song above, there will be no quote today.

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November 21, 2009

All the Fire in the Sky

Filed under: Arizona, Fire, Nature, Nature Preserve, Outdooors, Phoenix, Rebel XT/350D, Sunset, Travel — Tags: , , , , , , — Jacob Crosby @ 12:22 am

The good news, perhaps the best news short of my recent trip to Arizona, is that I had a job interview today. I have been applying at a plethora of places looking for an IT position, and it seems that my level of experience and knowledge is either not enough or far surpassing that of the desired candidate for most positions. Fortunately, Apple seems to think differently (No pun intended) ;) , because I actually had an interview with a company for a helpdesk position troubleshooting Apple products. I feel extremely confident that I will get the position.

The bad news (That is actually good news), I recently lost someone that was a huge part of my life. Don’t worry, she is very much alive. Regardless of the circumstances with which things ended, it seems that it is a great sigh of relief to be able to breathe again. I was so overwhelmed with constantly having to repair everything that went wrong, both emotionally and physically. Constantly needing to be there to pick up the pieces, but every moment a new “toy” came along, I was immediately of no use. Every instant, walking on egg shells, worried that the most innocent of sentences could spark a fire that could not be put out and would become a raging inferno. Ultimately, this is the best week I have had in almost exactly one year. Thank you for freeing me from your undying abuse…

As previously stated I was granted the opportunity to visit a friend in the Phoenix area of Arizona. In Minnesota we have the beautiful reds that turn orange and yellow, the deep blues that fade into purples and pinks…. In Arizona it seems the sunsets are someone setting fire to the sky. When there are clouds in the sky (Which is certainly a rarity), it is a violent torrent of rich orange, red, yellow and mix perfectly with the swirling clouds in the sky. Having said that, there are the beautiful multi-colored sunsets that we experience here, but I did not see them until I went to Sedona.

This photo was taken after a short hike through Lost Dutchman State Park to an area called Flat Iron Peak, and The Praying Hands. Chandra and I had hiked up the mountain top the highest point, which was and area between Flat Iron Peak and the first set of Praying Hands. We got to the top and took some photos of each other, horsed around a bit, and kind of relaxed together and sat down and just cuddled. After about twenty of minutes of that we started heading back down the mountain.

Once about halfway down and having made it partially around the side of the mountain the sky opened up and the name struck me, All the Fire in the Sky. Actually lyrics from a song, it was the first thing that came to mind the moment I saw it. I began running down the mountain, camera and tripod in tow, which, given my medical condition, was probably not in the top three list of “Things I should do to get a nice photo”. However, I knew that at the bottom was my backpack with all of my gear, and fortunately my pain medication. Not that they were necessary as I made sure to take enough prior to starting the hike. I was somewhat out of it during taking most of my photos as any time we had gone hiking I made sure that I took enough to endure the pain of carrying my gear. Due to the fact that I was on pain medication I was not entirely in the best mental state to focus on camera settings and taking good photos. As such, many of the photos I had taken during my stay in Arizona are not suitable for HDR… Sadly.

This photo is not an automated HDR, I actually mapped the photo manually in Photoshop just to see how difficult it would be, of all photos, please comment and rate this one.

Well, after my long story about Lost Dutchman State Park and All the Fire in the Sky of an Arizona sunset, here is the aforementioned photo in all of it’s illustrious glory!

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September 15, 2009

The Midday Fog

Filed under: Duluth, HDR, Lake Superior, Minnesota, Rebel XT/350D, Travel — Tags: , , , — Jacob Crosby @ 5:54 pm

This photo was taken on a recent venture to Duluth. It was a beautiful scene to come rolling over the hill into Duluth and find that the whole of the city and Lake Superior were covered in a thick blanket of gray fog. The last time I had been to Duluth was sunny, bright and colorful. I had made the trip with a dear friend Chandra, up to Gooseberry Falls and Split Rock Lighthouse. There are multiple photos from that trip in the archives. It would have been nice if I were in a better mood for photography work, but alas, I was feeling a little under the weather…

I was able to spend the day with a friend from High School that I had not seen or heard from in about 10 years. It was certainly a strange day for me, and at a particular low point in my life. I guess it goes to show that some friends are friends regardless. Thanks Rena. :)

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June 6, 2009

Sunset Sari

Filed under: HDR, Minnesota, Nature, Outdooors, People, Travel — Tags: , , , , , — Jacob Crosby @ 9:03 pm

Though I did not come up with the name for this particular work, I do enjoy it nonetheless. This is the ever beautiful Chandra in the traditional dress of the Nepali culture. It really is a quite elegant dress with the way it moves in the wind, and compared to the typical drab American colors we have, this is a colorful and quite beautiful piece of attire. I was stunned when she lifted up the loose part of the Sari and the sun shone through it, it was quite a beautiful moment to see.

Unlike some photos of people that are a “pseudo-HDR”, this is not, she was able to stay still just long enough for me to snap the necessary photos. She should be given an award for her ability to stay still, considering her level of energy and apparent inability to stay still for longer that several seconds at a time.

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June 4, 2009

The Eye of the Beholder

Filed under: Duluth, HDR, Lake Superior, Minnesota, People, Travel — Jacob Crosby @ 1:41 am

Tonight’s post was an extremely difficult choice at first, so for those of you reading, I posted the three photos that I was choosing from on my flickr, which is abnormal for me, since I typically post one new photo a day. The runners up will get posted tomorrow and Friday.

This is a very unique photo for both the subject and I. This young lady has dark dark brown eyes, nearly black. I have tried on many occasions to capture the color and light in her eyes, yet I can never quite seem to do so. This was just a quick snapshot while we were getting out of the car, I did not expect it to turn out, let alone be this amazing.

You can clearly see the color and texture of her eye, the normal shot was great, but to make a pseudo-HDR has turned out wonderful, I have long thought that anything too close would not work well with HDR, this photograph as done an outstanding job of proving me wrong.

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May 31, 2009

Upper Falls Alcove

This area was a bit of a pain to get to, it required climbing down a 20ft. nearly vertical wall with camera, tripod, and remote shutter release in tow. I cannot say it was the easiest photo to shoot, but I will say that the green in the foliage in the foreground was some of the most brightly green colored shrubbery I have ever seen, even this HDR shot does not do it justice.

While I was busy shooting from down below, a friend was up top chatting with another guy that drove from Chaska, MN up to this area for the same purpose, which is quite a bit farther than we drove. I was surprised because he was using a Canon S5 IS, with the CHDK software shooting in RAW and told me he was having some good luck with HDR.

This was one of my first shots of the day, and likely will turn out as one of the best once I get the fine tuning done, but for now, here is the lackluster product straight from the software.

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May 18, 2009

A Fire in the Night

Filed under: Cars, Fire, HDR, Minnesota, Travel — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Jacob Crosby @ 2:00 am

This photo is related to, quite literally, a fire in the night. Apparently a crazy firefighter thought it might be a good idea to drive down the highway with his daughter lighting fireworks from the cab of his car, subsequently starting a fire in the Carlos Avery Wildlife Preserve. On the bright side of the whole thing, nobody was injured and no homes were lost in the fire.

I was also given the unique opportunity to host many of the Fire Departments that were helping with the effort in my front yard. I captured this photo at one of the rare moments when there were not 30 firefighters hovering around the truck, in my yard or trying to raid the Salvation Army truck of it’s precious booty (water, Gatorade, snacks, etc.) It is a fair amount darker than my typical photos, but given the setting and the viewers ability to see the smoke and a little bit of the glow of the fires, I think it is appropriate.

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May 16, 2009

The Path Through the Ominous Forest

Filed under: HDR, Minnesota, Nature, Travel — Tags: , , , , , , — Jacob Crosby @ 9:20 pm

Some photos are easily taken, some inspired by a scenic view, some, some are simply a fleeting moment in space and time. We are given our photo opportunities at varying moments in our lives, we may have wonderful memories, or a terrible tragedy may have befallen us.

For me, this photo will fall under the latter category. I was whisked away by a family that missed me in St. Cloud, MN upon the news that some medical issues were recurring and my health was diminishing. Regardless, I was blessed with the opportunity to spend an afternoon with a dear friend of mine, Steve. We decided we would go to the St. Cloud Quarry Nature Park to take some photos. Upon walking the first 30 feet in I knew that this was an area I had to shoot on the way out. Considering the current condition of my health and the idea of the roads we follow and the paths they may or may not lead us down, it was of a particular significance to me. All the philosophical goodness aside, here is the photo in all it’s splendor.

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