The Invitation.

4:30am was an early time to wake up, especially after a rough night and sleeping a mere 2 hours through tossing and turning. William knew that if he did not get up now he would likely sleep another 6 hours, and miss his flight, “Wake up you fool, wake up!” he repeated, pleading with himself. Inside, he knew the trip was probably a bad idea, likely changing nothing and ending only in hurt again, but he just could not deal with losing her like this, he knew he had to give it one last try.

As he showered, still half asleep, he remembered the way she looked the last time he saw her, her brown eyes shining in the sun, her soft, gentle lips touching his as they kissed, her wet hair left his shirt moist after a long, final embrace. Three months ago it was so hard to let her go, crying as he drove away. It was the first time in years he had felt so much hurt. Letting people go was something he had grown so accustomed to, but with her, it was so much more difficult than times before, and it was all he could do to keep his composure.

The taste of the cold October air left his mouth longing for just a sip of hot chocolate, “Perhaps a stop at the gas station is in order.”, he thought to himself, as the truck roared to life. Backing out of the driveway all he could see in the rearview mirror was her wonderful smile, stopping for a moment to remind himself to keep focused on driving, she always was the only thing that could distract him from driving he remembered as his foot left the brake pedal. He thought about all the times they had driven down that very road together, “iPod Babus”, he would always tell her, smiling while he tried to recall how they had gotten the pet name Babus for one another. “Babes, Babers…. Sweetest, hmmm….”, he thought to himself, trying to find the correct contraction of words he might have used, “No matter.”

“Boarding the plane was relatively painless.”, he decided as he placed his luggage in the overhead compartment. Sitting down he made sure he had the things he figured might pacify him through the flight, “iPod… Check. Chocolate… Check. Magazines… Check. Looks like we’re all good.” He thought of all of the things he might have forgotten, realizing there was little he could do about it now, “Captain, can you wait for me, I left something at home…”, laughing as he imagined what the response might be, “Yeah, sure, we can wait for you while you go home and get your toothbrush…”

As the plane left the earth he repeated the lyrics ‘Knuckles clenched in white as the landing gear retract for flight, My head’s a balloon inflating with the altitude, I watch the patchwork farms’ slow fade into the ocean’s arms, And from here they can’t see me scared, The stale taste of recycled air’, a song he had mentally determined was written just for this moment. He thought about how he could pick a song from memory for every moment in his life, like a dictionary of music in his mind. Thinking of years past in which friends would ask, “Hey, do you know what song this is…” while they stuttered to recall lyrics or a beat or even their perceived meaning of the song, (which he usually decided was incorrect) while he scanned his mental index of music, always returning the correct song and artist almost before the query was complete.

He stared out the window as the wheels touched the ground, focused only on the moment he saw her face again. “Thanks for flying with us.” was his cue to violently clutch his seatbelt and remove it from his waist as he rushed from his seat, forgetting the tray from the seat in front was still down, causing him to fumble and recover, thinking about what the TSA’s might think if they saw him in such a hurry. Walking to the luggage claim he dreaded the long, unwelcome wait for his things, though upon arrival his was the first baggage he saw, “Must be because I was late”, he convinced himself.

He remembered her dark skin, the way it looked in the morning light as he lie next to her while she slept. His favorite parts of her body so vivid in his mind. He remembered how strange she thought it was that her hip bone was so special to him, always pulling her underwear down just far enough to kiss it so gently. For a moment he was no longer wandering through an airport as he recalled how she would giggle when he would touch her inner thigh, how much he loved caressing the soft, delicate skin there, how she always thought it was so sensual, and he just liked the soft feeling, something he had grown unaccustomed to.

Walking out into the warm Arizona sun he saw her, so beautiful, so wonderful, his heart beating as she slowly walked up to him with her big, beautiful smile and sparkling eyes focused only on his. Dropping his luggage, gripping her so tightly, he picked her up and whirled her through the air, whispering how much he loves her and how she is everything that he needs.